and now for something completely similar...

Looks like life is giving me the dry humping of the year. My car fucked up this afternoon, which meant I had to miss out on lunch with my buddies. This wouldn't have been such a bad thing, except I only just got it serviced last friday! and that cost me $140 , plus another $110 today.

I need some fun, I'll probably check out Matty's party on Friday... if my car doesn't stuff up again.

P.S.
I wanna tally who reads my blog and likes horror movies. I'm interested to see how many females respond.

Sorry, no poem 2day. But heres a pic of me being incredibly cute!

okay, on with the blogging.

What is happening? Where's it happening? How come it's happening? And lastly... why wasn't I invited!
LOL
Welcome back to places dark, dank and donk to see once more what the Topcat has instore for you. Well not much frankly; the background is the same shade of black that it has been for the last week or so, but hopefully I'll be getting a decorator in to make this place looking proper interesting at the very least. Tings are crazy as always... no they're not really, I'm just crazy and the world doesn't seem to want to conform with my crazyness. I find myself, for the first time in a long time actually stuck doing nothing. I now have time to do stuff, and unfortunately don't feel like doing anything. Friends are good to chat to though, they're always doing something interesting and you can talk about whatever they are doing.

Oh, I guess I've been playing around with my mobile, it turned on once on its own by bumping into something so that's going to be interesting in the future. I'm going to want to use it finally and the battery will be flat. I can tell that a lot of people are going to be mad at me for not having the mobile on all the time. Ah well, I never wanted a mobile so NYAAAHH *sticks tongue out*.

I'm feeling a bit out of place with the world. There are things I want to do, but can't yet. There are people I want to be with, but can't yet. It's a waiting game, that I'm willing to play, but I am unsure of when it will end. Will I miss my opportunity if I wait too long? Or will I be too impulsive and impatient and blow it all by not waiting long enough. Mmmhh.... Maybe I should eat rice with chopsticks, a good friend of mine says it teaches you patience. I could certainly use that now. I know I'm not a perfect person, but I must have a fair amount of good karma stashed away somewhere, and well, I wanna cash in now!

Nuff whinging, I hate whingers.

And now onto sports... I don't play them, I don't watch them all that much... there that's it.
Oh and alcohmohol is naughty, makes you do things u later regret. What I don't get is how people get so drunk that they don't remember anything. I've been super drunk and I remember all... oh GOD do I remember all. Also, there is no way to drink away your sorrows. Try not to rely on your antidepressants etc. These postpone the pain and make it last longer. Alcohol eccentuates whatever emotion you are truly feeling, which sucks if you're sad, but is great if you're watching "Team America" among good friends, as I did this Thursday, YAY! Must do it again sometime.

I'm home alone at the moment... no parents... nice big house... a few beds... and no-one to share them with. Arrgghh, what I'd give not to be single right now. See it has its ups and downs. On the positive, I don't have to be anybody else's second half. I am my own man, I can be myself, I can watch my horror movies, I can play my music, I can do what I like... just I gotta do it alone.

I'd like to know what women thought, figure out how der crazy brains work, know what they wanted, and know who wanted me. See this thing is what I hate, the guy has got to ask the girl out. Some idiot wrote this unwritten rule and guys have got to do this thingy wherein they're scared of being rejected. Why can't it, for once, be the other way around. Why do guys have to do all the guess work until they either get it right, or fudge it up and pick the wrong gal.

I think I'll write back when I'm happier, I can't seem to make my way out of the morbid writing stage. Don't worry about me, I'm not going to jump off a bridge. I can't really be bothered doing that anyway, too much effort. I'm feeling fine, it's just that I'm writing sadly, I dunno. I'm just in a lonely mood I guess. Apparently a friend of mine is going to try to find me someone to 'get with'. I know who I want... waiting's a real bitch though. I've been waiting for 21 yrs, what's another _____?____ going to hurt.

Okay now Topcat is going to chipper up, get his arms movin', his tail swishin', and his claws scratchin' and going to give another little poem that I'm going to write on the spot. Right now for you special blog readers and replyers.

The house is large but I am small,

there's plenty room to fit you all,

if you could come and stay awhile,

some company would make me smile,

and when you need some comfort too,

when you're alone I'll come see you.

I luv u, goo'bye!

xoxo

Welcome one and all, welcome to the MAD HATTERS tea part,
If you would kindly don your party hats the fun and games shall begin!

Okay enough of that, too silly, too silly. Well, what's knew?
I've finished that goddang 4,000 word assignment on Comedy in Film so that's a big relief. It took me till 5am to do it (one hour was just writing the filmography, yeeesh). I then got to bed after telling friends "Sure, I'm coming into Uni' to hand in that assignment at 10am, like I need sleep anyway." Well, after a very pleasant 6.5 hours of sleep... wait a sec'... 6.5 + 5 = 11:30am!!!
Ahh screw it, people can wait for me for a change, for I am Timotheus, master of all Topcatians, I have slain the 4,000 worded dragon and stand victorious over its rotting corpse, and I deserve to PARTAY!!!! So I got up, put on my 'Bob Geldof - The Vegetarians of LOVE' CD, straight onto track 3, (which I'm listening to right now) which is "The Great Song of Indifference", and did my jig of triumph. I shaved, showered, met my parents over the house briefly as I do most mornings before I have to rush off to somethingorother. I'm a busy little bee I am.

I got to school, looks like the people I was going to meet there were late too. Yay for synchronisity. Cabaret is the next big thingy looming ahead, both frightening and aweinspiring. My once private thoughts and dreams have now become tangable and real. The Cabaret that I am co-directing and have written all started at my 1st year at University. I'm doing a BA (Batchelor of ASS! I wish, nah it's a Bachelor of Arts... same dif') and (trying to) majoring in Drama and Cinema Studies. First year was 2003 and during a particularly boring class I started writing a scene for a non-specific play, this was the starting point of what would be ultimately an Opus of the last 3 or so years. Seeing as though it was written during a time when my last (and longest running to date) relationship started to slowly turn to crap before my very eyes, it is packed with emotion, and has its main star writing a play to help him keep busy and get his mind of her. Thank God for Student Theatre, without which I would not have had the means to even consider doing such a monumental project. It is daunting and scary, but at the same time I am really looking forward to it, especially now that the people have been cast and are saying how they like the script and the songs that were written. Biggest fear? What my parents are going to think. I mean I've acted in parts that had me saying some shocking things (I said fuck 15 times in one scene), but they would always say "well it's just the character saying it not you." This however is a reversal, everything being said is soooo me, but I'm not saying it. Plus there are LESBIANS, and a RAPPING PREACHER guy... don't know how they're going to react, but hey I'll worry about that when it happens. so yay to that.

On love and the like, here are some thoughts from the Timmy. That's right, let us take off the cool exterior of the Topcat and did deep into the non-existing lovelife of the Timmy. Well I'm in a kind of a crazy cycle here. Now I've tried to get back into the relationship game, but there is only so many times a guy can be shot down before he raises up his hands and says, "BLA! I give up, I'm going to be either a swinging bachelor or a priest, one or the other. If I'm a priest at least I'll have an excuse not to be attracting any of the opposite sex." Well I'm at that stage now, sick and tired and scared of being rejected, and more mortified of being dumped once again. So I've become very picky, so that I don't end up jumping into yet another DOOMED FROM THE START relationship and having to have the not niceness with the breaking up and the withdrawel symtoms and the lonely rocking back and forth on the bed with a blank expression on my face... tell me you haven't been there too huh? So I got it all sorted, find the right gal that I will most likely not break up with. Ah but there's the rub. I believe that I am cursed in some way, stupid I know but I do. OGGIDY BOGIDA!!! Anyway, with this in mind, say I do find a girl that I think is near perfect for me (requires further inspection, but I actually think I have found someone, SHOCK!). I then think how wonderful the person is, how much they understand me, and how much we make each other happy etc. Then I think of the curse, the stupid nagging at the back of my brain saying "Eventually you know she'll break up with you, it's your fate to wander this world alone." Then the dread feeling comes, a pinch on the top of my head and a shiver shudders through my body at the thought of the eventual and (as Agent Smith would say) enevitable break up with the one person that I would never want to break up with, that I could not stand to break up with ever! So here I type, instead of asking her out, because I won't go out with someone I don't think will go the distance? ..... no. Because I wont go out with someone I think is perfect for me because I could not survive breaking up with someone so cool? YES. Bummer huh? I've been single for over a year now. Sooner or later I'll grow some big brass ones, get over this stupid nagging voice, take it out, stamp on it, put the voice through a shredder, sticky tape and glue it back together so I can do it all again several times... and then I'll be able to ask her out. I just hope she doesn't get with n e 1 b4 then. Or maybe I'll just boot myself in the ass like I always do when I feel I need to get something done and jump straight into the deep end so that I don't miss out on something special. Wait for further updates on my progress (if indeed there is any).

Okay little words of wisdom to all my peeps and cutesy wootsy followers of the one true TOPCAT, listen up....

I'm looking in at the "in" crowd,

"Can I come in?" I'm not allowed.

I guess they think I'm too unhip,

my hair has not one blondish tip,

I find it hard to think of quips,

'bout Hollywood relationships.

But just as cool as "in" crowds sound,

they're stuck in there, I move around

out in the breeze, all fancy free.

I'm free you see to be like me.

So I'll stick by myself with pride,

I'm not unhip... I'm just outside.

BIG SMILEYS EVERYONE, I LOVE YOU ALL