"Don't you ever wont more for yourself? I know this poor hapless son of a bitch does. I look into his sorry doe eyes and I just-- I see a man crying out. He's crying out "When, Lord? When the fuck can your servant ditch this foul-mouthed little chucklehead to whom I am a constant victim of his folly so much so that it prevents him from ever getting to kiss a girl? Fuck! When, Lord, when? When's gonna be my time?!" "
Whoever can guess the movie quote first recieves my love psychotelakeneticalily so hit those message boards ppl.

Okay, so the world of the Topcat is pretty crazy. What's new u say. Well the above usual crazyness. Love, stress, mass shopping spree, rejection, people pulling out of Cabaret :(, people joining up with Cabaret :), trying to orgaminizazel everything. Funnily enough I actually find that my job is an escape from all the stress. Weird, should be the other way around, but that's me. The monotonousness of the work, the security of it maybe, the same kinda action over and over, correct kids' work, correct other kids' work, help other kid with problems on life the universe and 7x6=42. I'm helping kids with maths and english, I'm doing a good job, I'm getting paid, it's all good there. Actually everything above I can deal with. Nothing is new, only the directing of Cabaret scares me a tad, and I reckon I'll cope. Nothing has changed, only the underwear.

I bought chocolate because I was depressed from cool people dropping out of my play (don't hate them, some have VERY good reasons). I haven't bought chocolate covered happyness in a while. Note to self: don't go shopping for sweets when you're depressed, or horny... or both. After I had bought $44 worth of "stuff" to make me happy, consisting of 2 DVDs, a RALPH mag, an Empire mag with a free FHM mag inside, lots of chocies, and a bag of chips (I would have bought more if my little angel on my shoulder didn't remind me that things wont buy you happyness, or if my devil hadn't told me "Dude, you can't buy good porn from Coles, save your money and buy something inflatable, SHNOOGANS") I went home, watched 3 episodes of X-FILES on DVD and went to sleep thinking "I'm way behind in reading Lord of the Rings!"

YAY people who I thought couldn't join in on the crazyness that is my play are playing the roles that I lost people from. They are excellent and if they weren't a dude and a nonsingle dudette I would marry them. All is warm and toasty.

Okay somewhere between all the superchange from crapyness feeling and great feeling and work and it being 1:02am (by my dad's computer clock, but I know it's lieing) I don't feel to hot. I mean that in all senses of the word. I'm ok though, I have good friends, lots of things to keep my mind busy, and plenty more chocolate. Here's another stream of conciousness poem for my Peeps, enjoy.

The people that I see, on shows on the TV,

always seem like they are acting too unreal to me.

How can it be so easy to find a decent girl?

How can it be that everyone there looks so beautiful?

How do they say those pick up lines? How do they seem to work?

How can they say the things they say, and not come off a jerk?

"Because it's fake you stupid twat, what else ya think it is?

How else can they go out and play, and dance, and screw, and kiss?

My God you stupid bloody twit, I'm sarcastic of course,

get off your lazy fuckin' arse and get back on the horse.

And don't you let me hear you say another fuckin' word,

you're used to this, you piece of piss, it's just a bloody bird.

Stop watching that idiot box, won't find your answers there,

if you don't have a go of life I'll fuck you up, I swear!

You're talented, you're a nice guy, can't be denying that,

but if you eat those chocolates friend you'll end up stinkin' fat!

Keep off the chocs, keep of the box, keep off the grog aswell,

and go and have a shower, you really fuckin' smell!"

Well thank you concience my good friend, you surely speak your mind,

I shall try, and see if I, can have a real good time.

It may not be a pleasant life, but I will make it work.

I'll see the silver lining on every little quirk.

I'll get back up onto that horse and hold tight on the reigns,

until the time that I fall off, and must get up... again.